@JustinGuarini: Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with "I love you?" Oh yeah me neither.
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@EndhooS: "Morning guys" "HOLY SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN!" - Clark Kent's first day at work wearing contact lenses
@Nahdude83: Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
@RoosterMustache: Assert dominance over your boss by choosing an elevator button higher than the one he picked & act like its a big deal to wait for his floor