@JustHadOneJob: Have you ever been so upset you cried in Spanish.
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@TheCatWhisprer: They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
@Marlebean: They say I'm too much of a competitive mom but I think kids need encouragement I SAID SWEEP THE LEG, LILY! -Ma'am, this is just a bake sale
@ruinedpicnic: "Sorry but It's me or the label maker." [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] "Thank y-" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]
@KentWGraham: I’m glad they call themselves attorneys-at-law. I wouldn’t want to accidently hire an attorney-at-baking or an attorney-at-pottery.