@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?
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@daemonic3: "Dad, can I go to the renaissance festival?" ME: No, you're still grounded "No fair!" ME: Yes, that's what I said
@david8hughes: [son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's this Son: it's our house Me: have you ever actually looked at our house
@nachosarah: when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend
@Chicken_Hawk38: All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.