@TheCamelToe_: Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking.
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@AnkCoupleTO: [on the phone] Me: I can't make it in today Boss: That's the 3rd time this week M: *neck deep in Kit Kat wrappers* I have a problem
@WalkingOutside: I've never simultaneously loved something so much and wanted it to shut up as badly as I do with my kids.
@hxnlxne: sex is intimate and sacred. your body is a temple and you shouldn't share it with anyone who hates rick & morty