@MattElGato: Have you found Jesus? No? Me neither. I think we lost him near the border. God, I hope he's ok. He had like all the cocaine with him.
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@Izianikapani: Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes.
@YourAnMoron: Me "I love you." My 3yo "Thanks." And just like that, 4 years of High School memories came flooding back.
@OBiiieeee: My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL
@JosephScrimshaw: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.