@RorynotRoy: "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor
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@osigat: My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.
@Tuna_Lover: Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms.