@mintchevette: Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT.
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@jimmytorosian: Me: I just souped up my car Person: What kind of engine did you put in it? *cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.
@Rollinintheseat: Coworker: "How was your weekend?" Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."
@MesutOzilClass: Arsenal did the mannequin challenge for 89minutes at Old Trafford and still drew.😂
@rolldiggity: New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10.