@BevisSimpson: Havent picked sides in Gamer gate yet.. which do I like more.. the entire female gender or the thing where I pretend to kill people on Tv..
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@KamaroPayne: My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
@Phoebetate: To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
@the_paramedicK: Mom: why are your eyes dilated Me: your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love Mom: what were you looking at Me: memes
@huntigula: I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins