@CrackedIllusion: Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.
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@AsgardianRose: In third grade a boy gave me a valentine that said "You're the Obi Wan for me" and that's the highlight of my entire dating experience.
@causticbob: GF: "I'm telling you now! Size does not matter, it doesn't make you any less important." BF: "Yeah? Well explain that to Pluto."
@Dutch_50: Headline: "Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey" My 1st thought was, "Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo." I must have Thanksgiving on my mind.
@themorris23: On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.