@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
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@texasstalkermom: That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide.
@fart: Q: Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake? A: a hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts
@AmericanGent69: Wife: I think my husband is spying on me. Friend: You're probably overreacting. Me: *dressed as a bartender* Can I get you ladies a drink?