@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
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@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
@AndyAsAdjective: INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: shape shifting INTERVIEWER: is that so? INTERVIEWER: yes INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@Reverend_Scott: I believe I can flyyy. I believe I can touch the skyyy. I believe I was mistaaaken. I believe I'm faaalling. I believe I'm gonna diiiie.
@LuvPug: Everyone is acting like they're all excited for the eclipse like anyone will even look up from their phone