@teeaysmith: Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
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@KKAlThani: Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours.
@GrantTanaka: me: so what, you're gonna be angry at me for the rest of your life wife: no, the rest of yours
@EndhooS: "BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS" *Maniacal stare* "Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette" "AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"
@Brampersandon_: Hey where's Brian? "Oh he's taking a p_ _p" A what? "Um dropping a d_ _c_" Huh? "Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?