@teeaysmith: Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
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@PerfectPending: Husband: I'm going to take kids to do something fun today so you can relax. Me: sounds awesome! H: Will you get them ready for me?
@MarfSalvador: me: I lost the boy wife: where? me: at the burrito stand wife: how? me: I turned around for a second wife: yes?! me: and then for a third