@Beerhaze: Having a wife and daughters, I try bottles in the shower until I find one that doesn't burn my balls and wash myself all over with that one.
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@DaddyJew: "Daddy, how are babies made?" "Well son, when a man and a woman have too much to drink.."
@ShutUpThatsWho: [me as a ninja] [a smoke ball is thrown in a park] [when the smoke clears, all of the dogs in the park have stealthily been petted]
@TheBoydP: Mammals for $500 Alex "Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating" What are sloths? "Wrong, What are coworkers"
@DanMentos: [spelling bee] "your word is... death" can you use it in a sentence? "in most states, yes"