@Beerhaze: Having a wife and daughters, I try bottles in the shower until I find one that doesn't burn my balls and wash myself all over with that one.
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@dshack8: "I know she told me to buy Tampax, but I'll buy the store brand that's on sale instead." The last thoughts of a man who's about to die.
@Nathan_NC17: A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
@ThisOneSayz: No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler.