@Sarcasticsapien: Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right.
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@duplicitron: Someone left a really nice couch out on the street so I went home and got a lamp and TV and this is where I live now.
@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"
@iGreenMonk: I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes
@azizpabani: ESPN just did a Top 5 Greatest Comebacks of All Time and there was some guy running with a ball but like literally no mention of Jesus