@Sarcasticsapien: Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right.
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@Vice_Queen: I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship.
@djangogold: if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night
@gruffybeard: Her: Why's the couch smell like pee? [Flashback to me watching The Ring alone] Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."
@JediGigi: Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle.