@fixyourcompass: Having Justin Bieber sing at your funeral so your death will be the second worst thing happening to your friends that day.
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@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
@UncleDuke1969: "Can I get you to-" YES! "Great! Here it-" I'LL DO IT! "Don't you want to-" MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO... - Adam Sandler being handed a script
@RandomRamblr: [Sunday morning] *congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church* - mass unfollowing