@fixyourcompass: Having Justin Bieber sing at your funeral so your death will be the second worst thing happening to your friends that day.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I got my first real 6-string Bought it at the 5 & dime Played it til my fingers bled Mom sued the guitar manufacturer & settled out of court
@rolldiggity: A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing
@AnkCoupleTO: [in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you
@GrandadJFreeman: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.