@sarcasticmommy4: Having kids has taught me that their ears are for decorative purposes only.
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@weinerdog4life: Whenever you ride an elevator with other people, it's best not to mention your imaginary friends even if someone is standing on Carl.
@kerouac741: Seductively calls you out on your bullshit. Just kidding, I don't do anything seductively.
@joebirbigs: I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.