@sarcasticmommy4: Having kids has taught me that their ears are for decorative purposes only.
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@imence2: In RL I'm a car salesman. Which means its my job to know how many bodies fit in the trunk of a car officer. This is all work related.
@AsgardianRose: You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once? That's how I'm handling adulthood.
@Marlebean: [outside a blazing house] Firefighter: ... Me: ... Firefighter: ... Me: ... There was a spider.
@XOperfectmessXO: When you search your kid's backpack and find they have a project due tomorrow and wish you would have found drugs instead.