@Thee1_4U: Having kids isn't that bad, just don't have like the really young ones.
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@david8hughes: [under heavy sniper fire] Platoon leader: where's that sniper fire coming from? Me [crying a fair bit]: a big gun with a telescope on it
@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
@vikkaroni: My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape.
@SarcasticAlly12: When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs.