@heymonroe: Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967.
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@bigmacher: I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday.
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@devansgorock: Pro Tip: don't believe everything on Twitter. Y'all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.