@heatherlou_: Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom.
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@bingowings14: My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank.
@michaelianblack: Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me.
@Storminika: The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I'm hoping there's gonna be a sniper.
@Sickayduh: [Lie detector] "You claim you can move an object by saying just one word. Is this true?" - Yes *needle going nuts* "I, sir, have been owned"