@GrantTanaka: having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler
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@ehdannyboy: "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.
@yonewt: Searching for that special woman to share my interest in candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, and losing my shit over inanimate objects
@Nikkeya08: Mom 1: My son's gonna be a pro baseball player Mom 2: Mines gonna be a doctor Me: My son shows strong signs of being able to escape prison