@WildeThingy: Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.
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@lecalabara: I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
@QueefTornado: Wife was feeling kinky last night so she got naked and I tied her to the headboard, then me and my buddy ordered pizza and played X-Box.
@_troyjohnson: Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."