@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
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@ianabramson: I'm the kind of guy who peeks under bathroom stalls and asks where you go for taxes.
@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand.
@DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.