@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
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@liv_thatsme: If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed
@mattZillaaaa: [during a plane crash] Woman sitting next to me: OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! Me: WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!
@kellysdf: Apparently, if you Google "boss" and "chloroform" from your work computer, it sets off an alarm somewhere.