@24HourBitching: Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
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@RocketRankoon: Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill
@iwearaonesie: If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore
@nbadag: *mob meeting* ayo new guy—who're you? "they call me the butcher" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* "no reason"