@LoveNLunchmeat: Having your 9 year old daughter pack for a sleepover is a great idea, as long as you're fine with her taking 17 stuffed unicorns and no socks.
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@TheReal_AndyMac: Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, my Facebook feed changed everybody from political analysts to weather people.
@LionJenkins: Friendly advice: Don't compare your girlfriend to an avocado. Even if she IS the good kind of fat.
@beefman138: I'm a Twitter guy who is married to a Facebook girl, so I don't understand how people of differing religions can't get along.
@sensual_dad: [watching the avengers with my wife] (scene where the hulk appears) me: *nudges wife* that’s shrek