@SGadea: He asked where I wanted to go for dinner, and that's how the fight got started.
@dafloydsta: Have you tried just Photoshopping her into your life?
@orny_xo: Wait, Fellatio isn't a flavor of ice cream?!
@theshamingofjay: *tries for a year to brush and floss better*
*goes to dentist*
Dentist: Do you even own a toothbrush?
@Roxtalled: Found out the name of my neighbor's cat.
In other news, I now have free internet.
@Reverend_Scott: [sees friend at the store]
"Where's your better half?"
The PS4's at home
"No I mean-"
Where WOULD it be? Wow, dumb question.