@Jandalize: He called me an angel but I'm pretty sure he meant angle because I'm always right.
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@GrantTanaka: *sees burglar *throws flashlight at him *misses *throws another *misses *throws another *misses *throws another Burglar: WTF Me: COSTCO
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?
@Mikecanrant: I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back.
@PostCultRev: "Clue" is a board game about people trapped in a house and one of them is a homicidal maniac who has just killed. Ages 8 and up.