@junejuly12: He didn’t know that balancing your knife on the edge of the sink means you may make a second sandwich, so now we have some serious talking to do.
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@truegritrumble: DATE: I think nervous boys are cute. ME: *responding with confidence for the first time in my life* Excellent! DATE: This date is over.
@dubstep4dads: me: what do u mean my friend cant come in bouncer: theres no way hes 21 me: but- stuart little: dude its fine lets just go
@LADaddy: [At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay.