@junejuly12: He didn’t know that balancing your knife on the edge of the sink means you may make a second sandwich, so now we have some serious talking to do.
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@HousewifeOfHell: My husband ran 13 miles this morning for fun. I had cookies for breakfast. It's nice to be the sane one for a change.
@better_off_dad: Her: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Me: *puts naked Barbie away. 'It's not VooDoo if that's what you think! Her:Freak! Me:Did you feel--anything?
@GrantTanaka: wife: some salmon travel hundreds of miles upstream just for the chance to spawn me: ok ok I'll take my shoes off
@That_Damn_Duck: Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I’m talking about you in particular.