@Cpin42: He died doing what he loved: almost crossing the street.
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@GuyEndoreKaiser: If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!
@fillthevacuum: Please be the blood from a horse's head Please be the blood from a horse's head Please be the blo... Nope, just peed the bed again
@kentgrossarth: 'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please?' 'Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'