@Cpin42: He died doing what he loved: almost crossing the street.
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@AimeeHelene1: (telling a ghost story) You know those knocking noises you hear at night? That's adulthood coming for you! *all the adults start screaming*
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "The CAT scan results are in and they have confirmed my suspicions." Me: "Okay, I'm ready." Doctor: "You're not a cat."
@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'
@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad