@RidiculousSheri: He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
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@toastymoe: Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver
@LuvPug: I told my therapist what you said and she's gonna call your therapist and you're in big trouble
@MelKassel: 1 rabbit can make 1,000+ babies in its life DATE: how do you know that *shouting over deafening hopping sounds from the attic* INTERNET
@FillWerrell: If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST