@ibid78: He died doing what he loved: checking to see if wolves are ticklish.
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@MartaEffing: [first date] Me: *sees he owns a cat* Him: Are you a cat or a dog person? Me: *maintains eye contact* *pushes cat off the table* *leaves*
@Rollmaninoz: Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere.
@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?