@10InchesPlus: He died doing what he loved, forgetting to put my potato wedges in the bag.
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@meganyyb: Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?
@ElgatoEsmio: Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS
@Schmoodles: Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it's short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. :(
@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I'd like to report my guide dog missing." Cop: "Right. When did you last see him?" Ian: "I've never seen him."