@DanKCharnley: He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture.
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@just1fool: Coworker:I'll take care if it. *Translation* You're gonna take care of it. You just don't know it yet.
@DannyMcH2O: Me: What's the capital of Ohio? Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora? Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.
@mama_earp: Announced sternly to students today that "only hard things are worth doing!" In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.
@Death_Buddy: You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows.