@DanKCharnley: He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_ElvishPresley_: Me: I'm sort of a chicken magnet Him: Don't you mean chick magn- *sounds of distant bawk-bawking* Me: We have to go NOW
@iRowlf: I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.
@junejuly12: Apparently "if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly" was not the tip this waitress was expecting.