If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@pbear79: He died doing what he loved most...
Correcting my grammar.
@notfaizzy: My right eye has been twitching for over a week! Know what that means, someone's been thinking of me so much they're giving me a stroke!
@withanewname: "SIRI, WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"
"SIRI, BRING ME A BEER!"
"SIRI, WHERE'S MY DINNER?"
Wife: "She's either deaf, or had sex with you too."
@bea_ker: Hitlers gonna hitl
@SirEviscerate: I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed.
@BakedBrotatoes: Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready.