@chapel3929: He died doing what he loved, my now ex-wife
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@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*
@Ristolable: I named my son Kidding Me so whenever people say "Are you kidding me" he has to say yes. This is a bad joke thanks for your time
@ilovepie84: I always get "never shake a baby" and "cats always land on their feet" mixed up. Anyways I need a lawyer.
@ValeeGrrl: Me: Ready for school? 7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost