@chapel3929: He died doing what he loved, my now ex-wife
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@theshamingofjay: Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare
@TinaMav: My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck
@SinfulShelly: I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. "I'm not a clown!" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest.
@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters