@callmeEvian: He died doing what he loved, rearranging the dishes in the dishwasher after I put them in.
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@AndyAsAdjective: guy in the stall next to me at this bar is ordering a pizza on the phone & I now realize my commitment to pizza is severely lacking
@briangaar: Son, that bear is more afraid of you than you are of ... oh wow, that bear is being really brave right now.
@jnrbtsn: The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.