@DamonHunzeker: He died doing what he loved -- screaming for help and punching a bear.
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@NathanBgood: "They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors
@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
@BlackCatBettie: "Just so you know, you're coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
@jimmytorosian: Wife: I told you to baby proof the house! Me: I did. That baby has no chance if it comes in here. The bear traps will make sure of that.