@DamonHunzeker: He died doing what he loved -- screaming for help and punching a bear.
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@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.
@iamburtjarvis: [starbucks] me: can i take some wifi home with me? barista: um. sure(?) me: [holds tupperware container in the air & closes lid] thanks.
@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.