@DanKCharnley: he died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish
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@santhonythomas: I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves.
@LinajkReturns: Talking with a 17 year-old who is 'living life with no regrets' reminds me of that time I got in a shouting match with a trout.
@Brampersandon_: I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much.
@Aredubbleyou: I hate being that creepy guy outside your window, but damn girl it's 7:30 already. You're gonna be late for work.