@KyleMcDowell86: He died doing what he loved, trying to use a hammerhead shark for carpentry
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@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you smarter. 3-year-old: *hands me a carrot* You need this more than I do.
@withanewname: Grim Reaper: I'm here for the sole! Waiter: *whimpering* omg can I... can I say bye to my family? Grim Reaper: uh, no, the fish special.