@Norsebysw: He had the strength of ten men and the confidence of twelve morons.
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@Leemanish: Bought the cheapest possible Mercedes yesterday 'cause I needed to use the bathroom at the dealership.
@MartaEffing: *hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*
@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.