@Norsebysw: He had the strength of ten men and the confidence of twelve morons.
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@pauleggleston: Security Guard: Can I see your ID card? Me: *flashes card quickly* SG: Show me your card again. Me: Bit weird, but OK... *flashes cardigan*
@WornOutMommy: I offer kid $1 to do a chore. He sticks dollar in pocket. I get dollar back on laundry day. Lather. Rinse. Repeat!
@ddsmidt: Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says "oh, you want to see crazy?" Reassure her that you do not.
@UncleDuke1969: [office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: … Me: I made a cake! Latisha: … Me: … Latisha: … Me: … Latisha: … Me: It’s chocolate.