@Norsebysw: He had the strength of ten men and the confidence of twelve morons.
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@iwearaonesie: [grocery store] me *hits back of wife's leg with the cart* Funny running into you h- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok
@KalvinMacleod: CAT 911: what’s the emergency? CAT: I can see a bird outside our clear wall CAT 911: you mean a window? CAT: no it’s definitely a bird
@MyHairyLife: I will not eat a donut. I will not eat a donut. I will not eat... I will not eat a third donut. I will not eat a third donut.
@stanleybehrman: From my hospital bed it occurred to me, that i could never work in a hospital because there are too many opportunities to nap.