@Norsebysw: He had the strength of ten men and the confidence of twelve morons.
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@Parkerlawyer: Text to Hubs: If it's not too much trouble can you get me a bottle of wine and a fuzzy blanket? Hubs: You're literally sitting next to me.
@iwearaonesie: mother-in-law (on FB): I'm tired of everyone being so condesending *wife tackles me before I can write "you spelled 'condescending' wrong"*
@PeachCoffin: I explained ‘gluten allergy’ to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving