@lafpgh: He insulted my sister, and I let it slide. He insulted my mother, and I let it slide. Then...he insulted my tweets.
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@13spencer: [Justice League HQ] Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO® password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*
@david8hughes: [in Walmart] "Excuse me, do you have towels?" "Oh, I don't work here." [leans in close] "I don't give a shit where you work."
@daplusk: I want to meet someone who enjoys long walks along the beach, so I have enough time to sit at home alone and tweet