@dshack8: 'He looks just like you' is my favorite way to tell someone that their baby is ugly.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times to see if you could go skinny dipping.. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself? Me: Can I go?
@KalvinMacleod: [pet therapy] THERAPIST: ok slow ME: *pets 2 dogs* T: just 1 M: *pets 3 dogs* T: Nurse, restrain him, he’s M: *pets 4 dogs* T: roverdosing