@kumailn: He-Man wasn't gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto.
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@ojedge: [1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: "How's your meal?" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]
@UncleDuke1969: "You know, your ex-wife was trash! I never liked her." "We're still married, Grandma." "She's such a lovely girl."
@BradBroaddus: My wife and I found each other on a dating website.........3 years after we got married. That was awkward.