@Jay_FrickinLynn: He pasta way? Here today, gone tomato. You cannoli do so much before thyme is up. Never sausage a tragedy. Olive my thoughts are with you.
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@bombfunk75: - Deletes FB account - Leaves Social Media - Moves to Himalayas - Pigeon comes with a note - Opens note - Candycrush request
@1Happytwit: You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective.
@Amburglar_: If someone came to my door & said "We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink." I'd be living large.
@politicalmath: I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.