@Jay_FrickinLynn: He pasta way? Here today, gone tomato. You cannoli do so much before thyme is up. Never sausage a tragedy. Olive my thoughts are with you.
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@Home_Halfway: My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter.
@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now
@shutupmikeginn: Advantage of seeing a goose: you just saw something interesting my friend. Disadvantage: next goose experience less meaningful
@OBiiieeee: one time my dad walked in on me smoking an E cig and made me eat a whole pack of batteries