@Beatonm5: He said he was a Guardian of the galaxy, I thought that was pretty cool until I realised he was a security guard in a Samsung shop.
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@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with
@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
@celestinelea90: This guy's shirt said 'blink if you want me' and now my eyes are watering and I need to close them but ohmygod you guys I DO NOT WANT HIM