@JediGigi: He said I won his heart and I was all "Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"
@disco_bird: All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
@GuyConfused: Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me.
@MindyFurano: Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress