@JediGigi: He said I won his heart and I was all "Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."
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@NYC_Blonde: "You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping" is the title of my autobiography.
@TheBoydP: My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Trapped on a Island] *Message in a bottle* "Please send help!" *Gets message back, months later* "Linda invited you to play Candy Crush"