@SmithWit: He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.
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@JohnHilsen: Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg.
@david8hughes: [at the mall] "I've lost my son. Can you make an announcement for me?" "Sure, what's his name?" "Xander." "See, that's why he ran off."
@Aimiekins: You enter. "I've been expecting you," I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins.