@Lisa_Laughs_: He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up.
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@sa_mohn: In school it be like 2+2=4. Homework: 2x8+3=19. Then the test: Juan has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the suns mass. Wtf
@EndhooS: [Calls boss] I won't be in today "Why not?" [camera pans out to a raccoon wearing sunglasses driving away in my car] I've got the shits.
@Parentpains: In Canada, a drive by shooting is just a guy using finger guns while winking at a chick he has no chance with.