@jammiiepants: He says I'm cute when I'm mad. Well he has no idea of how gorgeous I can be.
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@suntzufuntzu: Woman on the phone congratulates you for winning "Unknowing Android of the Year." "I'm not an android!" you protest. "Marvelous," she gushes
@justsomegirl81: I’m never more aware of the echo in a public restroom than when my kid yells out, “Hey Mom, are you pooping?”
@sonictyrant: Me: i need some decoration for this cake Store clerk: Icing? Me: Yeah and I can beatbox, can we just focus on the cake?
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all.