@NateMorrising: He stole my heart, so I stole his last name. Is the slogan of a very famous body parts and new ID shop in Mexico.
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@ceejoyner: Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.
@Reverend_Scott: [sees cute girl jog by] "Imma run up and ask her out" [one block later still not caught up] "Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"
@FreudsTwin: Mad scientist- Checks for Labs Bartender- Checks for Tabs Boxer- Checks for Jabs Uber- Checks for Cabs Your back - Checks for Stabs
@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.