@ninjadinosaur1: He thinks the stuffed animals in my room are creepy, but I can't think of a cuter way to hide all those cameras.
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@GrantTanaka: when the doctor starts putting on latex gloves at your next physical, a fun thing to do is to whip out your own pair & put them on too
@dumbbeezie: Shopping with friend "Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!" Me: "What's leftover pizza?
@aka_fatman: President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom.