@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.
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@michaelianblack: Every picture I've seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts.
@brendohare: Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am
@therealeatwood: [Enter Password] drapes [Re-enter Password] carpet [Error: Passwords must match]
@NoticablyBacon: *Meeting GF parents* What are your intentions with our daughter? Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me